Funny Stuff 4 U

1) Sacred cows make the best hamburgers.

2) I got some new underwear yesterday. Well, it was new to me.

3) If #2 pencils are the most popular, are they still #2?

4) I used to be a lifeguard, but some blue kid got me fired.

5) I live in California, and my watch is three hours fast, I can't fix it, so I'm moving to New York.

6) I don't want buns of steel. I want buns of cinnamon.

7) Ask to see my tattoo of a rose, but don't ask outside. I'm constantly bothered by bees.

8) It's not who you know, it's whom you know.

9)There is no "I" in "Team", but there are four in "Platitude-Quoting Idiot".

10) One goldfish says to the other, "If there's no God, who changes our water every week?"