10 Funny One Liners 4 U (Part 4)

1) Did you know that dolphins are so smart that within a few weeks of captivity, they can train people to stand on the very edge of the pool and throw them fish?

2) Never, under any circumstances, take a sleeping pill and a laxative on the same night.

3) I thought I wanted a career, turns out I just wanted paychecks.

4) A bank is a place that will lend you money, if you can prove that you don't need it.

5) A computer once beat me at chess, but it was no match for me at kick boxing.

6) I didn't fight my way to the top of the food chain to be a vegetarian

7) Whenever I fill out an application, in the part that says "If an emergency, notify:" I put "DOCTOR". What's my mother going to do?

8) I saw a woman wearing a sweat shirt with "Guess" on it...so I said "Implants?"

9) I didn't say it was your fault, I said I was blaming you.

10) The shinbone is a device for finding furniture in a dark room.