ATM machines
Posted by Admin in Funny Stories on Thursday, April 15, 2010
A new sign in the Bank Lobby reads:
"Please note that this Bank is installing new Drive-through ATM machines enabling customers to withdraw cash without leaving their vehicles. Customers using this new facility are requested to use the procedures outlined below when accessing their accounts.
After months of careful research, MALE and FEMALE procedures have been developed.
Please follow the appropriate steps for your gender:
MALE PROCEDURE
1. Drive up to the cash machine.
2. Put down your car window.
3. Insert card into machine and enter PIN.
4. Enter amount of cash required and withdraw.
5. Retrieve card, cash and receipt.
6. Put window up.
7. Drive off.
FEMALE PROCEDURE
1. Drive up to cash machine.
2. Reverse and back up the required amount to align car window with the machine.
3. Set parking brake, put the window down.
4. Find handbag, remove all contents on to passenger seat to locate card.
5. Tell person on cell phone you will call them back and hang up.
6. Attempt to insert card into machine.
7. Open car door to allow easier access to machine due to its excessive distance from the car.
8. Insert card.
9. Re-insert card the right way.
10. Dig through handbag to find diary with your PIN written on the inside back page.
11. Enter PIN.
12. Press cancel and re-enter correct PIN.
13. Enter amount of cash required.
14. Check makeup in rear view mirror.
15. Retrieve cash and receipt.
16. Empty handbag again to locate wallet and place cash inside.
17. Write debit amount in check register and place receipt in back of checkbook.
18. Re-check makeup.
19. Drive forward 2 feet.
20. Reverse back to cash machine.
21. Retrieve card.
22. Re-empty hand bag, locate card holder, and place card into the slot provided.
23. Give dirty look to irate male driver waiting behind you.
24. Restart stalled engine and pull off.
25. Redial person on cell phone.
26. Drive for 2 to 3 miles.
27. Release Parking Brake.
This entry was posted on Thursday, April 15, 2010 at 2:03 AM and is filed under Funny Stories. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0. You can leave a response.
- No comments yet.
Archives
-
▼
2010
(43)
-
▼
April
(39)
- I didn't eat it!
- Insert Foot In Mouth!
- 10 Funny One Liners 4 U (Part 10)
- Lion Stalks Giraffe
- The Funniest Story in The World
- 10 Funny One Liners 4 U (Part 9)
- Funny Cheese Commercial
- Vibrating Chair
- OOPS - Good Job Officer Brilliant
- Dirty Mind
- 10 Funny One Liners 4 U (Part 8)
- Opportunity
- Be Careful Who You Burglarize
- 10 Funny One Liners 4 U (Part 7)
- Wifes Pad
- The 11 Years Old stinker!!!
- Funny Cat
- 10 Funny One Liners 4 U (Part 6)
- Weight Loss Plan
- Environmental Impact On Dogs
- 10 Funny One Liners 4 U (Part 5)
- Exercise Needs Motivation
- 10 Funny One Liners 4 U (Part 4)
- The Biggest Lie Ever
- Get A Zoo Job
- 10 Funny One Liners 4 U (Part 3)
- Super Granny
- ATM machines
- How To Make Child Sleep
- Wedding Rings :)
- 10 Funny One Liners 4 U (Part 2)
- Before & After The Wedding
- Sorry, honey...
- Courtroom Quotations (Part 1)
- My Office Bag
- 10 Funny One Liners 4 U (Part 1)
- Formal Apology Form
- Minor Earthquake
- 9 Months Later...
-
▼
April
(39)