Funny Stuff 4 U

1) Why does someone believe you when you say there are four billion stars, but check when you say the paint is wet?

2) God must love stupid people. He made SO many.

3) Women will never be equal to men until they can walk down the street with a bald head and a beer gut, and still think they are sexy.

4) A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory.

5) Crowded elevators smell different to midgets.

6) Good girls are bad girls that never get caught.

7) The voices in my head may not be real, but they have some good ideas!

8) The sole purpose of a child's middle name, is so he can tell when he's really in trouble.

9) Why do Americans choose from just two people to run for president and 50 for Miss America?

10) Some people say "If you can't beat them, join them". I say "If you can't beat them, beat them", because they will be expecting you to join them, so you will have the element of surprise.